The Classroom Herald

  1.Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? A: Thunderwear 2.Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? A: Dill with it. 3.Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13 . A: Time to get a new clock. . 4.Q: What did one volcano say to the other? A: I lava you! 5.Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around ? A: R2 Detour 6.Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn ? A: Where is pop corn? 7.Q: What did one plate say to the other ? A: Dinner is on me!! 8.Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look ? A: Because when you find it, you stop looking 9.Q: What cakes and baseball teams have in common ? A: T hey both need a good batter. 10.Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate ? A: Nothing, it just waved.

  1.Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. 2.Q: How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? A: Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. 3.Q: A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey… and a cola.” A: “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.” . 4.Q: A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” A: The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…” 5.Q: What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A: A receding hare-line. 6.Q: What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? A: The best of thymes, the worst of thymes. 7.Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A: A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. 8.Q: What did one hat say to the other? A: You wait here. I’ll go on a head. 9.Q: What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? A: This tastes ...

  1.Q: What's the best thing about Switzerland? A: I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. 2.Q: What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? A:Phillipe Phillope. 3.Q: What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Close the door, I'm dressing. 4. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." 5. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu—you get what you deserve 6.Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: It gets jalapeno business 7.Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta 8.Q: What do you call a magic dog? A: A labracadabrador 9.Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80? A: Aye Matey 10.Q: What's Forest Gump's password? A: 1Forest1

  Q: Why couldn't the pony sing the lullaby? A: Her voice was a little horse (Hoarse) Knock! Knock! Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome! Q: What does the buffalo say when his son goes to college? A: Bison (Bye Son) Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear Q: What time do you go to the dentist? A: 2:30 (tooth hurty) Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A: Then it would be a foot Did you hear about the guy who cut off the left side of his body? He's all right now! Q: Why did the kid take a ladder to school? A: He wanted to go to High School. Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg? A: Because every play has a cast