Dad Jokes

 1.Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

2.Q: How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? A: Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

3.Q: A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey… and a cola.” A: “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.”

.4.Q: A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” A: The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

5.Q: What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A: A receding hare-line.

6.Q: What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? A: The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

7.Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A: A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

8.Q: What did one hat say to the other? A: You wait here. I’ll go on a head.

9.Q: What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? A: This tastes a little funny.

10.Q: How do poets say hello? A: Hey, haven’t we metaphor?